Sunday, July 18, 2010

Blogfest of Death

It's time! It's time! This is the Blogfest of Death.
Okay I still can't pull that off like our illustrious hostess!
But I had to give it one last try...

So here goes death scene is taken straight out of my WIP Radiant Fury.

My MC Anna has struggled relentlessly with the fact that she was ripped from the human world on her seventeenth birthday only to be returned as a Fury. Forced to let her human life go in order to protect others from meeting her same fate, Anna complies only to have it come back to haunt her. In this scene, the human she left behind, Phillip is stolen...held against his will until Anna willingly gives herself over to darkness. Curious? Read on if you dare...but we all know this can't end well.

     My eyes traced over the unforeseen tempest that had engulfed the entire alleyway. Amidst the battling creatures, I found myself desperate to find one thing and one thing only. My search was cut short when Tristan stepped free from the madness. With Phillip.
     “Let him go,” I pleaded. All around us the sounds of the ongoing struggle continued. Nothing more than a pious attempt to postpone the inevitable. As Tristan's unspoken demand dangled between us. I already knew what I had to do.
     “Oh I will,” he insisted. Tristan managed to subdue Phillip with one hand while reaching out to me with the other. “Come to me Anna. Surrender yourself and I will let your human go free along with the rest of your miserable clan.”
     I took two steps forward watching the others out of the corner of my eyes. Everyone grew still. Eerily so. Watching in horror.
     “You give me your word that no one else gets hurt,” I confirmed still moving slowly forward. Inch by inch, I refused to lift my gaze from his, while taking close care to insure everyone else stayed in their places.
     “Anna no. Get out of here,” Phillip choked.
Tristan ignored his cries and focused solely on me. “You have my word Anna. Come with me now and no one else gets hurt.”
     It was at that very moment that I paused, curiosity crashing through my veins. “What do you want with me?” I heard my voice asking before I could stop. It was an odd time to be inquiring, but time wasn't on my side. Not anymore.
     He tilted his head to the side chuckling. “You really have no idea how truly special you are do you Anna?”
     I shook my head, cowering away. “I’m not special,” I insisted, struggling to keep my voice even.
     “Oh no?” He curled his fingers into a fist and rested them beneath his chin. “Nothing out of the ordinary has ever happened around you? Something you can’t explain when you’re scared witless? Creatures in your midst going out of their own minds?”
     His words swirled in an intricate latticework through the air like newly fallen snowflakes. My thoughts traveled back to every unexplained incident that had happened in the heat of battle. The bizarre behavior of certain creatures…behavior that I had blocked from my consciousness. Telling no one, not even my fellow clan members. Not even Dominic.
     “I’m not special,” I repeated even louder. Around me Pixie and Calypso stirred nervously at this latest bout of information.
     “Anna what’s he talking about?” Pixie whispered in my ear.
     I shook my head. “Nothing.”
     “Tick-tock Anna,” Tristan drawled in a bored tone. But his motions showed something entirely different. His arm tightened around Phillip’s neck in a warning that couldn't be ignored.
     “I’ll come away with you.” Two more steps and I’d be his.
     I walked to him like I was in a dream…no not a dream, the most gruesome of nightmares. A nightmare to which I would never wake. Finally I stood before Tristan. I looked into his jet black eyes and saw nothing. No future. No past, just like the last time this fatal creature held my existence in his hands.
     It was funny. I wasn't scared. I wasn't sad. I was at peace with my decision. Everyone I cared about would be safe. My hand shook slightly as I reached out to him. I felt the cold chill of his skin against mine for mere seconds. This was the end.
     Out of nowhere Dominic came at me. He tackled me to the ground, wrenching my hand from Tristan’s grasp.
     When I opened my eyes his beautiful face swam into view. “Dominic what have you done?” I whispered.
     He rested his head against mine, the love he felt for me twisted with the desperation of the situation and marched across his face. “I’m so sorry Anna. I couldn't let him take you away from me.”
     Pushing my own feelings for him aside, I scrambled to my feet and made to join Tristan once again. But my strength alone was no match for Dominic. From behind he grasped me so tight that I feared my bones would crumble to dust.
     “Let me go. Can’t you see this is the only way?”
     “She’s not wrong.” Tristan assured us as we continued to struggle. “Only now the terms have changed."
     “Changed?” I asked shakily. I still struggled against Dominic, but in the back of my mind I knew. The calm resplendence in Tristan's voice rang with certain finality. My chance to save Phillip was gone.
     He smiled hungrily and with his smile a dark shadow followed, crossing his face and showcasing him as the monster he truly was. “Yes Anna, now no one you care about is safe.”
     The horrid creature didn’t wait for my reply. I watched helplessly, locked within Dominic’s iron grasp as Tristan reached out and placed both of his hands on either side of Phillip’s face. There was a loud crack and then it was over. He had broken Phillip's neck as if it were no more than a bothersome twig.
     I screamed as Phillip’s empty form fell limply to the ground.
     “Anna wait,” Dominic pleaded as he held onto me tightly. My knees gave out, forcing him to support my weight entirely.
     Before me stood Tristan. His lips were curled into a knowing smile as if he alone could see into my future. “I’ll be seeing you soon my sweet Anna. My master will be so disappointed to hear that his wait has once again been prolonged.”
     With that he blew me a kiss and melted into the shadows.

Can't wait to hear your thoughts! To view the other fantastic entries visit Tessa's Blog


Andrew Rosenberg said...

Anna's in an impossible place here.
Not exactly sure what happened to Philip. Be more graphic! :)
OTOH...might have been interesting to see what happened if she has surrendered to Tristan. Head into the Devil's Lair so to speak.

Nice job!

Suzie said...

Trisan is a cruel one, isn't he! Makes one wonder about his master!

And poor Phillip, caught in the middle. I'm assuming his neck was broke(?). The only thing I'd suggest is making some reference within the "load crack" being from his neck.

Great entry! I really enjoyed reading it. :D

Suzie said...

Okay.. ignore my type there. I hate this keyboard. Tristan. I accidentally deleted the T when I was deleting an extra i. :(

Sangu said...

Wow, can I just say? The idea of a character dying and then being returned as a Fury is just a fantastic concept! I'd pick this book up in a store any day!

Zoe C. Courtman said...

What a great concept. "With that he blew me a kiss and melted into the shadows." Nice!

Tessa Conte said...

I like the line Zoe quoted, too!

This is a GREAT scene. Poor Anna, caught between a rock and a hard place. There isn't really a right thing for her to do, is there? And then Dominic comes along and takes the choice away from her...

You really made me curious. How is she special? How badly do the bad guys want to have her in their power and why can't she tell anyone about these things that happen to her?

Thank you for sharing this scene with us and for joining my Blogfest...


; )

Mesmerix said...

I think this concept is really unique. Humans captured and returned as Furies? Very interesting! A nice entry to the Death-Fest :)

Scribbler to Scribe

Lovy Boheme said...

I was pulled in right away. It really is a cool concept. I like all of the conflicts that are introduced in just this one little scene. (well...not introduced...introduced to ME, beinf a first time reader and all).

elizabeth mueller said...

I knew the loud crack was his neck. I understand that we, was writers, are taught to trust our readers to understand what we are writing without us having to spell everything out. I think you did well.

The only think I'm wondering is Phillip's age? I hope he wasn't a child (well, at least younger than 14) Or I'll lose sleep over it!!

Great tension, girl, you got it perfectly!! :)